Hello everyone. Today I’d just like to write about something that I feel I have to take responsibility for: my addiction. In all honestly, I’m a little embarrassed about writing about these kinds of things, but I think that at the end of the day, it is imperative that I remove it from my life for good.
It started when I was 13-ish. Something just clicked about it. The relief, the temporary enjoyment, and I heavily resent myself for it now. Hence, wanting to change for the better. I’ve started on this journey about 6 months back, and I have relapsed time and time again. At times, I’ve found it absolutely impossible.
It is not even that I view content that is that explicit. I feel like I have a generally low threshold, and my trigger point is pretty darn low. If anything, Instagram has been the biggest culprit (apart from myself – and quite honestly, I shouldn’t be placing any blame on anything but myself), and I’m slowly trying to recalibrate my brain.
Little steps, and I’m not that hard on myself for the mistakes along the way (which may be good and bad, but I’m putting my foot down and taking an important step towards stopping completely). Progress report at the moment I guess hasn’t been too good. My longest streak ended at about 25 days, and trying to restart has been a little lackluster at best.
No ‘superpowers’ as a lot of people who have gone on this journey kind of suggest. My energy levels remain fairly similar – although I guess I’ve made no additional effort to fill up my life with fun, productive stuff given the nature of my busy schedule as a medical student. But slowly trying to get there.
Today’s post is a little shorter than usual because I’ve got some things popping up in university, so been a little busy. Tomorrow helping with a tournament, so yeah. Hope it all goes well.