Realist

Today I’ve got a pretty simple, but deep post. I guess I’m writing this post mainly because of something my girlfriend brought up about myself the other day, and I just can’t help it.

I wrote a few days ago about how I will always think logically and say what’s on my mind, even if its out of the norm or kinda awkward to bring up. I’d like to think that I try to illicit the positive response anyway with over-exaggerated responses in the aftermath. I guess that’s just such a me thing. So today I’m going to be talking about what’s on the other end of the spectrum – when I say deep, kinda sad things.

I’m painstakingly realistic about my expectations about life. I don’t like to look too far ahead because you never really know what lies in the unknown, or quite simply whether circumstances will change in the future. This brings me to what my girlfriend mentioned that I said previously. There was one night when we were just talking, and I said something to the extent of “I know one day you’ll be the prettiest bride in the world, even if I’m not the guy who will be the groom”. In many ways, I feel that this statement really reflects me as a person. Realistic.

I’m not the kind of person who will be angry with my girlfriend if we break up. I would like to think that even if we did, I would like to be thankful for all the wonderful memories we shared, how we shaped each other to be better person, how we became stronger individuals through each other. I guess that is why I kind of said that statement. My thoughts are that, no matter what happens, I’m happy that she can be such an important person at this point in time. Full stop.

I’m not the kind of person who will think that we’ll get married either. I mean we’re 20. Our culture kind of dictates (as if I care about culture, but definitely it has its influence) that couples get married around 25-29. There’s lots of time. Too often I see such lovey-dovey posts on Instagram and Facebook, and a few weeks later its no longer there due to the breakup. It almost makes me laugh every time I find an example of this.

Let me clarify. Its not that I will love my girlfriend any less. Far from it. My perspective is that I’ll do my best for her, and if in the end we don’t work out, we don’t really work out.

In many ways, I feel as though she has a view that is almost the polar opposite of this. I would like to think that she thinks very far ahead, and considers everything. Hence, I almost feel as though that it will necessary cause some problems when discussions occur. However, I definitely feel as though she knows I’m being genuine and sincere, it should be enough.

Any thoughts on this? Leave them in the comments section below! I really appreciate any comments made by you guys, so please do leave a comment. Thanks!

2 thoughts on “Realist

  1. Speaking from a girl’s point of view, perhaps your girlfriend is simply seeking reassurance that you want to be with her in the future. Girls have a tendency to overthink things, and when a guy says that ‘even if I’m not the groom’, it makes them feel like maybe the guy hasn’t really thought of a future together. Her line of thought is probably this: if you really wanted to be with her, you’d say ‘I know one day you’ll be the prettiest bride in the world’ and fullstop.
    My ex had the same train of thought, whereby he’d say things like “If you want to cheat, I can’t stop you” or “If we don’t end up together, it’s okay” which pissed off my 18-year-old self.
    In hindsight, he probably thought the same way as you – ie, things that will happen, will happen, but to me, it felt like he didn’t really ‘care’ enough to fight for me.
    You’re only 20, there’s plenty of time to grow and change. Trust me when I say your 20s are a time of change.. I’m certainly not who I was six years before. Anyway, best of luck to you two and I hope you have many happy days together.
    Cheers,
    Eris

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