Dwindling Competitive Fire

I’m a really competitive person. I try not to seem that way, but the fact is: I am. Even extremely so. I guess I play badminton and bowling to respectable competitive levels.

For reference, I’m pretty sure I should be the undisputed #1 for both of those sports at my university level. (bowling its a little hard to tell due to a lack of a ‘bowling scene’). Maybe since my university is a medical school it slightly changes things, but I’m pretty sure it still stands for something when you’re the best among 500-ish people in your university.

But, sometimes I feel that level is not enough anymore. No training here, coupled with the fact that I hoped to improve a bit faster over holidays mean that my standard has dropped tremendously. The last two tournaments I have actually played in have kinda destroyed that esteem and fire that I normally hold to myself. Both first rounds exits. Both equally painful.

The first one I was a bit more okay with because I was thoroughly outplayed. Although it didn’t really help that he finished as the eventual champion. That kinda bothered me. The second one was close, but the player I played against has a reputation for being a national player’s brother and he eventually finished third. What’s really bothering me are these terrible luck of the draw experiences I have been getting. I almost feel like stopping playing in competitions.

To be fair, I have withdrawn myself from a lot of university related competitions because of this recently. Two first round exits really make you question if you’re wasting your time at these competitions or not. It has brought about a lot of people questioning my desire to represent my university and such, but at the end of the day – I feel badminton is such an individual sport.

Which makes it even more funny why I’m coming out to play in a tournament coming out. I’m coming out to play in a tournament for doubles – the competition doesn’t provide a singles option. Its been so long since I’ve actually played doubles competitively though. My partner? A really enthusiastic senior who constantly hinted at playing in this tournament with me. Maybe I should be a little more humble, but what can I do?

To be fair, all I’m hoping for is a better experience this time around. Hard at work trying to do well for this one!

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