Sometimes, Words Don’t Mean Sh*t

Sorry about the slightly foul worded title, but I don’t know, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Sometimes, I feel that words really don’t mean anything if you don’t do ANYTHING to back it up.

I hate people who have a lot to say. People who make promises they can’t keep. People who make a small thing they did (let’s say making money) and blow it up like they’re Bill Gates. If anything, that’s one of the types of people I hate the most. But what I in particular have been thinking about is I guess the type that don’t keep promises. The type that kinda ruin things for you.

Call me petty. Call me someone who knows how to hold a grudge. There’s a reason why I definitely don’t feel like my relationship with my girlfriend a particularly healthy one. That’s because it is sometimes just so ridiculously one-sided it is.

Although there have been many arguments and fights, good times and bad, there is always one thing that I go back to when thinking about how my relationship is going. The particular day would be my birthday last year. Let me just clarify a few things about my relationship for you first.

I’ve been with my girlfriend for coming to 2 years now. I’ve celebrated her birthday for her twice, and she has (tried) celebrated mine once. It is the one thing that I always go back to if I think about whether I’m happy now or not.

Let me give you a small bit of back story first. Her birthday is in the middle of a very heavy exam period (medical school), so I just hope you guys understand that it is kinda ridiculous that I would put in the effort and time with such a sacrifice. Last year, I learnt a song for her on the guitar, put on a private show and sang for her as a surprise. I took her out for dinner at a type of place she genuinely likes, and gave her a present of decent monetary value and thought.

I feel like to be honest I’m a little petty about holding some a big grudge about this, but the truth is, nothing’s changed. What I got in return? She wasn’t around on the actual day, so all she legit did was call me for 1 minute on the day. Nothing more, nothing less on the day. How she celebrated it for me? She promised taking me out the whole day, bringing me to food I like to eat, and all that, but what actually happened? (She did this 3 weeks before my birthday by the way) She brought me to one of the most thoughtless type of restaurant, the type that I have never said I liked nor enjoyed the type of food, the type which has no direct connection to me whatsoever (my taste, anything like that), and she got me 3 generic $2 presents from the gift store which if anything was not about me, but our relationship.

Can you just imagine how annoyed I would be. The fact that this was during our longest school holiday should be noted as well. I’m just annoyed that she can’t think more than 2 minutes about just a way to celebrate considering what I gave up for hers.

In many ways, it made me think a lot about my relationship in general, that I was the one who did all the chasing, that I was the one that put in so much more effort throughout. I’ll probably do a follow up post for this soon. Please do drop a like and a comment, it really would be appreciated!

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