Reminders from the Crowd

Today I will be sharing a little bit about an old crush of mine. It is about a girl from my, I guess you can call it high school, but my school combined primary all the way up to college.

This girl is also the source of way too many embarrassing memories of mine.

She was cute, brutally honest and pure at the same time. I knew her kind of since I came to the school and she was pretty good friends with one of my first close friend who was a girl. I guess we didn’t really talk too much initially. Just your normal hi-bye. We had the same science class, meaning chemistry, physics and biology were together but nothing really too much happened there.

Things took off in Year 10. We had this camping expedition-esque award that we were going for. I was sitting with a guy friend, and we were making groupings. There had to be mixed gender because the teachers felt that I guess the bonding and the groupings would be nice. Some how we ended up in the same group. 2 guys, 5 girls. The award comprised of weekly sessions where you would learn things like cooking in the wild, setting up tents and what not. So we got to know each other initially there.

But I guess where we more so hit it off was the two camping trips that this award comprised of. We did a lot of the things together. I tried to be really cute and get her to feed me things. Just cringing kinda thinking about it now. But definitely I will tell you that we hit it off. My timing was just awful. Shortly after the second trip a mutual friend came to me and kinda asked me in a joking way when I was going to ask her out in front of her. Looking back I think it was a chance that came and went. The window was small.

But after that in many ways, I tried to I guess make it work. At this point I hadn’t asked a girl out before. Just had some weird relationships where we were pretty much everything but official. I still remember trying so hard to just hand and talk with her after PE on certain days. She happened to stay in the same condo block as me, so I tried so hard to walk home together (distance was pretty far) on certain days.

But it just didn’t quite work.

Fast forward 2 years, I guess I kinda realised that I had feelings for her on yet another trip. I did so many cringe things on that trip. I would purposely work next to her (it was a volunteer labour trip), I would chat to her while the person next to her on the bus was sleeping, I think I made it pretty obvious. But the way I asked was SO out of the blue. Just suddenly, on the last day, I just went for it. I texted her (in hindsight, that probably wasn’t the smartest idea) and asked her out. She rejected me, and I had a REALLY cringe apology that I regret to this day for I guess just making it uncomfortable, but I honestly hoped we would at least stay friends.

But yeah, I guess life is like that.

However, there are days where I go out and see people who look like her. I guess at least it serves as a reminder that these are fond memories, rather than holding any spite.

Do you guys have any stories similar to this?

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