Sometimes I wonder to myself whether I’m one for relationships. First of, I would like to think that I’m in that shy/introvert gray area. Let me slowly explain that to you guys.
I’m someone who loves going to events, especially sports. That’s slightly because I love the competitive aspect of it, partly because I love being around people. Love playing frisbee with tons of strangers, love playing badminton with the club that I was president of last year, love any kind of sport. Football, bowling, swimming, you name it. I would like to think that I can play those more competitively than socially.
I’m really good with talking to people one on one. Not a dull moment with me, I can assure you of that. I’d like to think that a lot of people would think I’m a fun person 1-on-1, and I don’t think you would say that about a lot of people. I’m not even talking about close friends, I’m talking strangers.
But make no mistake, in a small group, I falter to the background like that river in that Scream painting. I guess it doesn’t really help that I don’t drink, like at all. Partly because I personally think its taboo, partly because that was the culture of me growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I just think its a pointless social gimmick. Unhealthy and expensive doesn’t exactly resonate that well with me.
So, back to I guess the whole point of this post. Back when I was single. My girlfriend is the insecure type. The type that would like to eat every meal together, doesn’t mind it just being us two against the world 24/7, doesn’t really find her own interest unless someone initiates. In many ways, I feel like I’ve changed a lot to stay away from the arguments, to have more peace of mind.
I’m more of the peaceful type. I don’t have too many thoughts. I can be kept happy pretty easily. But the moment you claim that I am or am not doing something right, you better darn right be doing it well if you’re going to talk about it with me. I guess that also makes me difficult. Going off track again.
So, I guess in many ways I have adapted to suit her. I eat pretty much every meal with her, been involved with a lot fewer activities and all that. In many ways, sometimes I’m just scared of her. Scared that she will have a long talk with me. This is a girl that was worried we would spend less time together because I changed my accomodation for the academic year, even though a) We’re in the same working group for our class and b) we pretty much spend every possible moment together. So sometimes, I personally don’t get it.
I love her and appreciate her presence. But there I am, almost without a voice.
(And if I do I have to be prepared to lose 3 days worth of my time because she will throw a fit)