I’m pretty triggered right now, so please excuse me if it just comes off as a giant ramble. It was about a couple of incidents that happened over a series of a few weeks which makes me like this.
So, as always, a little background. Personally, I think I’m not the type of person who goes to a group to make friends. I do my best, but all in all, I feel like most of the time its pretty darn difficult to click with me – especially in a medical working group setting. Put it this way, my group remained the ONLY group which did not have a group outing over the course of the two years we stayed together in Year 1 and 2. Perhaps its me, perhaps its my luck, but I’d like to think that I will do what’s required, if not more for my group and I’m a pretty easygoing person.
It all started a couple of weeks ago. We have this presentation at the end of the week. Basically one person presenting a case from the ward rounds over the course of the week. So it comes around, and my week comes. The lecturer, being slightly autistic, decides, LOL f*ck your case, it seems boring, I don’t want to hear it. NONE of my other group members were subject to a presentation that day.
So, I would at least like to think that my preparation for that and the fact that it was pure luck that made it turn out like this would exempt me from the presentations right? I even exclamation marked this whole incident by sharing the powerpoint I made for that week to at least leave it as evidence that my week was DONE. It takes time to prepare (LOL, and I’m writing this blog post), but like legit, its kinda retarded if you want me to do it again shortly after.
Fast forward a week, mid-week they all stare at me whenever they’re deciding who should do the presentation. Like legit the f*ck. Personally I’m almost speechless at the fact that they even feel this way. So I suck it up, and just prepare for that week anyway. Please just note that it is a REALLY rare occasion when the lecturer doesn’t even hear out the presentation. (For my group, only ever twice. Both on my turns, the second of which you will read about shortly)
So I prepare for the presentation. Unwillingly of course. At this point I really couldn’t give a cr*p about it. I do it pretty shoddily, almost depressingly because of this injustice. The Friday rolls around. Woops, ran over the time limit, can’t quite hear your presentation this week. In my heart I’m thinking like “what the actual”.
My group mates, almost sensing my annoyance decide to say, yeah, I think you should be exempted for ONE week. Like OMG. I straight up just want to swear at them right there and then. So done with them. F*ck your friendship. Screw your sense of responsibility. Speechless. Two weeks down the road, there they are again. (This is today, by the way) I’m pretty much on the verge of just reporting them straight to Student Affairs for being pricks. So triggered.
How do you think I should deal with this situation. Am I making much ado about nothing? To be honest, I almost just want to hear a voice right now.